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i always say that “i’m gunna do something different” happens every day yet i keep this sorrow consistent will i ever change guess i’ll have to be more persistent in my head all day kick myself outta there — i’m evicted

i’m in my head too much i’m sick of feeling stuck i meditate i sit and wait but i keep giving up i’m feeling really low it’s obvious — it shows i’m crying in my bed alone and no one even knows i’m in my head — it’s rough locked up in mental cuffs i …

Continue reading “I’m In My Head Too Much”

eventually it hits you it — being the crushing weight of reality that things will never be the same

my mind is wandering to places it has never been exploring all the possibilities i make up in my head what if this what if that what if i can never mend am i escaping from reality just to lose myself instead

i keep on preaching, “be the change you want to see” but i’m pushing myself so hard that i can’t even breathe my lungs are shriveled up inside of my chest cavity if i don’t take care of myself i know i’ll never succeed

life gave me another year to prove to myself that i can and i will achieve my dreams despite all of my fears

these feelings of inadequacy are eating me alive how do i know for sure whether or not i’ll survive it’s like i’m constantly trapped in this prison inside of my head and if i wind up stuck here you might as well leave me for dead

it’s times like these where i sit and i think “what would it matter?” i’m on the brink

“it is what it is” is no way to live why do we accept circumstances that cause us pain?

lonely to the core “hollow me out” a quiet shout in an empty house does it even matter anymore?

every single second that i spend peeling myself away from this mattress feels like too much it’s like i’m stuck here — with the demons i see at night and the parasites living in my head

you can blame me all you want you can mame me you can taunt sit and say it’s all my fault we both know you’re no adult why am i here where should i go i’m sick of being your scapegoat

if you expect me to keep your worries in a jar — don’t expect me to — my cabinet is full of my own

i’ve spent my entire life awaiting death is it possible to be dead and alive at the same time?

maybe it’s time that i take it easy be more gentle with myself and forget the idea of perfecting life

have i completely lost my mind you told me it was a matter of time sit and tell myself that i’ll be just fine but we both know my life is on the line

i’ve been weeping into the roses i planted for you hoping that you’ll grow back and return to me but your remains are ashes now and i don’t see you being reborn like a phoenix as much as i wish that you would

the teardrops that fell from the sky told me that you missed me too so i cried you an ocean in hopes that i could float away to you

think i lost myself even more than before since i lost you cause everything i loved you loved too

through the trials and tribulations though i’ve been stressed i know that i’m blessed things won’t always be such a mess